SURVIVING

I've been staring at that envelope for a while now. Willing for you to materialise out of the folds of blue paper - it is your colour after all. Instead, I am left holding these snapshots of happiness, some of the best moments of my life, now mockingly flaunting their perfection at me. I don't know if to laugh or cry.

The thing is, when things are hard, they're harder than anything. They rip your heart out and soak it in acid. It hurts. God, it hurts. But still, my heart is a wildcat, it can take it. Because this tigerheart knows it belongs to you, Blue, the only one that can heal the scars of anything bad that ever happens. It knows that its aching comes down to the 400 miles that separate it from you. The only reason everything hurts, kills, is because you are a vital organ to my being. In the meantime, before we can be reconnected, I survive on life support.

But we'll be together soon again. And when we're together, we can't tell our heartbeats apart. And when we're together, the Earth spins for us and no one else.

I love you Blue.